To all my American-South Asian friends and all those who watch South Asian TV in America, you may sometimes see advertisements for a matrimonial service by Huma Ashraf called Huma’s Matrimonial Service. If you are ever considering using a matrimonial service do not, I repeat, do NOT use this service.

I know several people who have been scammed by this woman. They pay $600 for this service, but she ends up taking your photos and doing absolutely nothing. When people angrily contact her several weeks later, she regularly complains that she needs to pray or the photos you sent are not good enough. If you complain enough she will send a few random emails about a potential suitor, but will never send your photos/info to the suitor because the photos are ‘not good enough.’ Eventually, all contact with her will miraculously cease by the fact that she no longer answers your phone calls or replies to emails. I also know people who know her personally and they too do not trust that woman. 

She also can be quite unprofessional in her behavior towards customers. She will tell men to to emphasize their salary and women to lose weight or send photos in which they ‘do not look fat.’

I am only saying this because the woman has scammed quite a number of families with a large sum of money. The people I know did not think legal action was worth it, but I do hope that one day someone will take legal action on their behalf.

(Read other reviews here)

Please reblog so as to prevent her from scamming other families. 

Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy delivered my school’s annual Global Distinguished Lecture a few days ago. We were first shown her Oscar winning documentary, “Saving Face” on acid attacks in Pakistan, then listened to her answer questions and got to interact with her at a reception. 

“Saving Face”

The documentary followed four people - two acid attack victims (Rukhsana and Zakia), a plastic surgeon (Dr. Muhammad Jawad), and a politician/activist (Marvi Memon). The documentary started by stating that 100 acid attacks are reported every year, but many go unreported. The documentary was about the people who are doing things to bring about change in Pakistan.

Dr. Muhammad Jawad is a plastic surgeon and he works at a free clinic called BURNS meant only for acid attack victims. Two of his patients, Zakia and Rukhsana, are followed around for the documentary. Zakia’s husband was an alcoholic, drug addict, and abusive man. She wanted to divorce her husband, and because he feared his own izzat being at stake he threw acid on her. Rukhsana’s husband threw acid on her, her sister-in-law threw gasoline on her, and her mother-in-law lit a match and set her on fire. She tried to run away, but because she had no money and wanted to be with her children she had to return back to her husband’s home. They built a concrete wall between her room and the rest of the house so she couldn’t see her own children. 

Zakia took her case to court. She found a lawyer who took the case for free, but her lawyer said that most acid attack cases end in acquittal. Cue Marvi Memon, who is in the meantime working hard to pass a law that will make it easier to convict acid attack perpetrators and carry a life sentence. The law passes unanimously  Zakia’s case is then the first to be tried under the new law, which results in her husband being sentenced with two life sentences. 

Post Saving Face

Zakia was named Woman of the Year by Glamour magazine, and a donor provided a scholarship for her daughter as well as gave a home for her to live on her own. Rukhsana, on the other hand, was not so lucky. She didn’t send her husband to court, and because the documentary made him look bad he started blackmailing the producers of the movie. He would threaten Rukhsana, who eventually started threatening the movie producers as well. Eventually, a donor donated a house to her so she can live with her children away from the family. 

Q&A

What were the reasons men gave for throwing acid on women? 

Most common reasons were property disputes and women wanting to divorce their husbands.

Did the documentary bring any change to Pakistan?

The exposure, especially through the Oscar win, has resulted in acid attacks getting much more publicity. Before, acid attacks would only be given a small mention in papers, and now it is front page news. Sharmeen believes that these men don’t seem to believe there is anything wrong with acid attacks. No one has challenged the idea of acid attacks being a bad thing to do. Increased negative exposure will allow the society to see it as more of a heinous crime, which results in more convictions, and hopefully less attacks in the future. 

What about the new law? Is it effective?

There were at least six convictions last year that led to life sentences. Before this law, most cases would result in an acquittal. The number of cases being reported has also increased, which means victims are getting more comfortable with speaking out. 

Is there a way to get women to leave violent relationships before they become acid attack victims? (I can’t remember the exact question, but it was about preventing acid attacks)

Sharmeen said that Pakistan is a society with forward thinkers, but we need more forward thinkers. Pakistan has had a female Prime Minister, female lawyers, female doctors, female politicians, etc. but we need more women to serve. She said Pakistan needs to encourage more female run police statins to be able to process domestic violence cases. She also said women on women violence needs to also be looked at. In many of the cases, mother-in-laws are generally complicit, and we need to ask why. With answers we might be able to find proper solutions.

A white woman asked to explain ‘the culture’ of Pakistan. Why were victims so quick to say that they want acid to be thrown on their perpetrators? Isn’t that wrong?

Sharmeen told the woman to try to place herself in their shoes. If your entire life is ruined and shown on your face, what would be your gut reaction? The gut reaction is revenge. She said this wasn’t about culture this was about reacting to trauma. A trauma that one must live with for the rest of their life. Also, these women didn’t seek out such revenge. 

How can we help?

Go onto the documentary’s website and click ‘Get Involved’ for approved organizations that you can support. She repeatedly recommended the organization “Islamic Help”

Some Pakistanis were upset by this film being in that they believed it showed Pakistan in a negative light, and it might also encourage the ‘white savior mentality.’ What are your thoughts on that?

 She firmly denied that stereotypes are formed by her documentary. The film is about Pakistanis tackling the issue. All of the people in the film are Pakistani, there are no whites, nor is there any statement in the film asking foreigners to help save Pakistan.

She also stated that we can’t not talk about problems of the nation because then Western outlets will talk about it with their own biased perceptions (the last part of this was implied, not directly stated). Pakistan has its problems, we need to discuss it, and she believes her film is about people working to make the country better.  

I got to talk to Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy briefly today! Yeah, little old me, got to speak to an Oscar winner! An Oscar winner who has brought so much positive change to Pakistan as well as expose other heroic people to the world! Have to say she is very friendly and quite down to earth! I brought up some of the criticism against her and she responded with what seemed like rehearsed answers, but it helped me see the movie and her in a whole new light. Will try to post something by this weekend on her. 

Malala Yousafzai has been formally nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. Not sure how I feel about this, since the more famous she becomes, the more of a dangerous threat is posed upon her. Mehreen Kasana brought up the brilliant point that since her life is being threatened, and the fact that she’s a minor, we shouldn’t be talking about her. Do we even have her consent? Or has she simply become an international  a Western symbol? Does anyone have any links on her speaking about what happened? 

People don’t even want schools to be named after her because they fear the Taliban targeting it, so how can we even think of bringing all this fame upon this girl when no one talks to her? 

What you can do is support the UNESCO fund in her name, that her and her family approve of.

What are your opinions? I honestly haven’t been following this story as much as I should have.